For You

I normally gag at anything heartwarming, sweet, and/or Maya Angelou, but I think funny is a cure all! I'm always good once I have a good laugh, and believe me, growing up, we laughed A LOT, and most inappropriately. Maybe I'm out of touch with my emotions, but I just happen to know someone who really needs a good laugh. This is my way of saying hello and hang in there!!!

“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.”

“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

“If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?”

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap.

Thank you Jack Handy.