We used to own an old house and were constantly working to upgrade this and remodel that. It was a lot of work, but I happen to enjoy learning how to do handy things. We were also incredibly naive and that helps as well.
On the south side of the house, there was an old side porch, pillars and all. It had a porch swing, ceiling fan and wicker furniture with toile cushions... very southern! I always felt so Martha out there, especially in the summer when the giant ferns were green, the impatiens were spreading and my hydrangeas were getting ready to bloom. You get the picture. -WELL, soon enough we discovered the first of many problems to come. Under one of those pillars was a growing mound of poo pebbles. I didn't know what kind of poo it was, but it was definitely poo.
I assumed for a while it was squirrel poo or poo from a strange sort of bird. So, I cleaned it up, but kept a vigilant eye on the situation. Well, day after day, you guessed it, there was a another mound of poo pebbles and no sign of squirrels or mutant birds. Hmmmm, what could it be?
After consulting my wise old neighbor Paul, I found out our perfect little side porch doubled as a bat house. YEAH!!! So I called the local pest control companies and not only did they not know what to do, they said something along these lines, "You don't WANT to git rid of them bats! They help you by eat'n lots of mosquitoes. Thousands really, every day." What mosquitoes?! Do we have a terrible mosquito problem too??? What the crap? Well, I tried, I really did. For a while we lived in relative peace, but then this started happening.
"Squeak, squeak", scratch, "squeak", thump, scratch, "squeak", etc.
What the? Oh Mary, Mother of...., they're in my walls now!!! I immediately took my plight to the Internet and discovered a humane (not that I cared) way to get rid of my new pets. After you see the bats fly out in the early evening, find their point of entry and stuff steel wool into the hole. Apparently it irritates their skin and they'll find another bat house.
We did it, and it worked. Oh, and by the way, I didn't notice an increase of mosquitoes or any other pest for that matter. What we never managed to get rid of, however, were the giant albino crickets that lived in our cellar. Seriously, they used to stalk Scott which was hilarious... but that's another long story for a slow blogging day.
Now I'm off to torture some birds on my new front porch. Wish me luck!
11 comments:
Okay, any post called mystery poo will immediately get my attention.
It has been in the -20's this week, and snowy, and I've been complaining. Lots. But, after reading about your bats and crickets, I remember why I was glad to leave warmer climates for the frozen tundra (which, of course, we really aren't).
What the crap... Do you want to come live with me? YOu would put up with children, not bats and poo! We have a country style home, I would love it! But- if you chose to stay in that haunted castle, please cover your necks at night!
You have the coolest stories and the coolest things happen to you. I have officially decided that my life is boring in comparison to yours. Although I can't say I really want bats or albino crickets sharing my house...
okay- so my sister had bats in her house too and the pest guy came out to get rid of them. But here is the fun news- where there are bats- there are lots of cockroaches. The roaches like to EAT the bat poo! Gross huh- lets just say she moved within a couple of weeks!!! Just Sayin'
Isn't that the side porch where I caught you with your arms back, eyes closed and breathing in really hard? That was really weird. Very um...Titanic. Maybe if you had
Mr. DiCaprio behind you it would have made a little more sense.
BATS scare the Bewittles out of me!!!
Just for the record, I don't live in the bat house now, it was a couple of years ago. And it was a lovely house, except for you know.
My house is now a bird magnet and for some reason bunnies. I'll take birds and bunnies over bats, crickets and apparently roaches. Ewww.
This was hilarious!!! --- in an "I'm glad it was you and not me" kind of way. Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment today. Love your blog too. I'll be back in TN in a week, so I hope to see you and some of the other ladies then!
sick! i used to like your old house! but I didn't know about the crickets and bats! ;)
I didn't mean to leave a post under the SHAC listing. Sorry
Ahhhh that porch sounds delightful.
I would welcome your bats if they will get rif of my moquitos this summer. Those darn pesky blood suckers! They ruin our outdoor fun from July to September.
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