For You

I normally gag at anything heartwarming, sweet, and/or Maya Angelou, but I think funny is a cure all! I'm always good once I have a good laugh, and believe me, growing up, we laughed A LOT, and most inappropriately. Maybe I'm out of touch with my emotions, but I just happen to know someone who really needs a good laugh. This is my way of saying hello and hang in there!!!

“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.”

“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

“If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?”

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap.

Thank you Jack Handy.

WWMD, What Would Martha do????

You all know my love for everything Martha, right? I've even started shopping at Walmart (gasp!) since I saw her lovely craft paraphernalia in the sewing section. You've heard about my Martha mag collection and how, her shows, new and vintage, can calm my nerves. Have you heard about all my recent paint choices? That's right, all Martha. She inspires me to continuously seek for ways to improve myself and be a problem solver!

For example, I have a built in desk in my middle hall that doesn't have a top. It just goes straight from the drawer, up and over. So, while casually looking through my Martha mag collection, I found the PERFECT SOLUTION! On page 80 of the October 2001 issue, she featured a "cork-top-table". She cut a piece of cork to size and, after lining it up precisely of course, attached it using contact cement and a roller. Then she tacked on thin pieces of molding around all four sides, carefully painted them to match, and VOILA a thing of beauty!

I am so doing it.

My favorite, by the way, is the September 1999 special decorating issue in which she featured her lovely home in Connecticut, Turkey Hill. I love that house, and was sad when she sold it, but totally understand now. + Her new farm is lovely! All of her renovations are beautiful and still very practical and functional. Did you notice I said "and" instead of "yet" or "but"? Beauty, practicality and functionality are not mutually exclusive.

So c'mon ladies, this is it... this is my in! Martha Stewart is running a blog contest of sorts. FYI, I took a look at the competition earlier and they've got nothing on me. What, so they're professionals and actually have marketable skills... who cares? I think a true Martha fan should be featured. Why?, I'm so glad you asked...

...Martha has made it possible for me to not only stay sane with four children, but actually enjoy being a home maker. This is a title I am not ashamed of and continue to find interesting everyday because of my friend Martha. Since I've been a married adult, I've tried to find ways to make a lovely place here at home for my family on a budget, by doing it myself. I know Martha hires a lot of her projects out these days, but HELLO, she's got stuff to do. I, on the other hand, benefit from her sacrifice by putting the brilliance to work through my decorating, sewing, cooking and crafting... not really crafting. I can't lie, I'm not a huge crafter, but I love Scrabble! I love it, ask my sister, Candice.

I'm entering the contest anyway. I'm doing it, I'm going to put a link to my blog on her blog. So, please leave a comment because I want her/ her staff (hey, Laura) to think I'm popular, tricky and cool. Maybe you could reference a wonderful post I've written with a witty Martha story or two.

Now I'm off to sew and whip up 2 delicious quiches. So what if it's almost midnight, I've got a brunch planned tomorrow and times a'wasting.

Memory Game

This was copied from Erika's blog, who copied it from Christian's blog. Play along, it's fun:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! (Even from last Sunday.)

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Guilty Pleasures

I had a fantastic lunch today with a good friend at Miss Saigon's in Franklin. (If you haven't been there, you're missing out. This is a family owned, authentic Vietnamese restaurant that is absolutely fabulous.)

Anyway, my friend and I were talking and somehow got on the subject of guilty pleasures. We all have them and I love, love, love talking about them because I feel much more comfortable with someone when I find out they watch "Intervention" late at night or listen to "Milli Vanilli" when no one's around. These are the things that go beyond the on the surface perception people have of each other, into the real nitty gritty. Oh yeah, girl you know it's true. I'll start because I have no shame.

Movie- SAVE THE LAST DANCE: After the death of her mother, Sara is forced to move from a Chicago suburb, to her father's ghetto apartment on Chicago's gritty south side. The new urban environment, adds to Sara's feelings of loss and frustration, and her misplaced guilt. But when she meets Derek, a popular African American student with a passion for hip hop dancing and a future brighter than his troubled past, her repressed ambition is released through a revitalized interest in dance. Awesome!

TV Show- LITTLE PEOPLE BIG WORLD: The show follows the daily lives of the Roloff family engaging in everyday activities. The drama of the show arises from the fact that many of these activities are made more challenging due to the height of the dwarfs in the family — Matt and Amy are 4'1" (124 cm), Zach is 4'4" (132 cm). Plus, they have the coolest gadgets.

Clothing- CHRISTMAS SWEATERS and STRETCH PANTS: Sometimes, in our hoity-toity haste to malign a tradition that is seen as perfectly normal in just about every part of the country west of the Hudson River, we forget the true meaning of Christmas — and, while we’re at it, the true meaning of Christmas sweaters. Especially the one's with the 3-D fronts.

Music- HALL and OATES: Hall & Oates is a pop music duo made up of Daryl Hall and John Oates. They specialized in a fusion of rock and roll and rhythm and blues styles, which they dubbed "rock and soul".

PS. They're awesome. My personal favorite is "I can't go for that (No Can Do)"

Food- CHEF BOYARDEE RAVIOLI: They're meat-ee, chees-ee, sauc-ee... TASTEE! Even Mom & Dad love 'em for you because they have no preservatives. (I eat them really fast and furiously)

Restaurant- THE OLIVE GARDEN: I am a food snob who typically hates chains. But my love for the Olive Garden is so big. I even begged them via email to open a restaurant here about six months ago and guess what, they are!!! You're welcome.

Store- WALMART: Don't tell anyone... it's love hate, LOVE HATE!!! I hate it so much and I hate myself for loving it.

Celebrity Crush- I love you Seth Meyers.... and Jim O'Connor of Food Network fame.

Book- THE THORN BIRDS: Don't lie, you all know you love it too!

Everyone on my list is tagged.... especially Alice.

There is Sunshine in my Soul Today...

... but it didn't start out that way.

I've been trying to get in touch with the manufacturer of the patio set I bought a few months ago from the Home Depot. Last week after a lovely morning of quilting with my neighbor, the glass tabletop shattered before my eyes, and may I add, through NO fault of my own. Definitely a design flaw. I've been trying to get a new one, but no one will play ball. So, Home Depot is now at the top of my black list. They want to charge me 250 dollars for a stinking piece of glass. Yeah, I don't think so Phyllis, I don't think so! So I'm on an email and phonecall campaign to get my tabletop back/ singlehandedly put the Home Depot out of business. I may even resort to picketing.

Renee's blacklist:

Home Depot
Walmart
Shoney's
Applebees
JC Penneys
Cracker Barrel restaraunt (not the store in front, I love that store)
Oh Charley's
The American Girl products/movies


etc...

You hear me Phyllis, you hear!!!

A Summer in Pictures

A lovely summer, full of vacation, birthdays, pool time, gardening, and fun!!! We are truly blessed.

I love that Sophia wore her bike helmet for like 12 hours straight!

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads...eat them up, YUM. Drenched after bumper boats.

Beautiful Korean girl.

Forced smiles at one of many trips to the dreaded garden center! Even niece and nephew must participate.

"Little Bo Peep"

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for...

A NEW COMPUTER!!!

That's right, "Ice is back with my brand new invention"... Will it ever stop? "Yo, I don't know"! ?

It's been too long, and much has happened in the last two months, which reminds me of something else I'm feeling particularly thankful for...

SCHOOl's IN SESSION!!!

My kids are happy, I'm happy, oh and finally exercising semi-regularly. Be very impressed. My little Sophia is in preschool two days a week now and I'm on a semi-self improvement regiment which includes walking sometimes and old fashioned calisthenics.

Last but not least, I am thankful for...

FLIPPING OUT,

my new obsession. Does anyone else have big time love for this BRAVO show? This will definitely be a topic for a future post, so I won't ruin it today. But- I just have to say, Jeff, Jenni, and Zoila are my new best tv pals and I feel a "Martha-like" bond with them. Especially Jeff Lewis, because he's the male/gay version of me and I likey!

Just Curious

We have just returned from vacationing up in Holland, MI and I'm so very tired! While getting a family of 6 packed up, and driving 9 hours sounds like mind numbing fun, me thinks I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. Wow, am I that spoiled?!!! .... yes, I guess I am.

We have been going for the past few years with Scott's family and have a lovely time relaxing on Lake Michigan's beautiful beaches and eating the scrumptious berries that grow abundantly throughout the great lakes states. However, now that my kids are older, they are starting to have different ideas about where they'd like to go and do!

On a side note, I don't remember having funny ideas til I got a job, but whatever.

Anyway, a few holidays thrown out there were, vacationing in Florida and going to Disney, spending a week in New England, going to West Point and taking the train into Manhattan, camping, doing a whirlwind museum/sightseeing tour of Chicago, and of course Oliver's favorite... going into the wilderness armed with nothing but air soft guns and the clothes on our backs. etc

Some of these are more appealing/realistic than others, but it's interesting to hear what my kids have to say. I'm also seriously looking for new ideas.

So here's my question to you:

What is your most memorable vacation from growing up and why?

Blogging, anyone?

I have lost my capability to blog.

My computer has crashed and due to my husbands' schedule, this is the first time in more than two weeks I've been able to sit down and actually write! On top of that, my kid's are out of school and I've never needed blogging therapy more.

This may be the end, folks, this just may be the end.... not really.

Here's a Thankful Thursday "filler" until next time:

-I am thankful for rain. Any week we get a good rain, it means I don't have to water my landscaping or grass. SCORE.

-I am thankful for Postum. Being a good Mormon girl, who abstains from the evils of caffeine, porn and hard liquor, I'm grateful for healthy alternatives like Postum. I even use it as a coffee substitute in baking. Yes, I'm that holy. Jealous much?

-I am thankful for the pool. While HOA's are a pain in the butt, I love having a neighborhood pool so close. PS, I'm the embarrassing mom who still does cannonballs and sometimes synchronized swimming with my bff, Candice.

-I am thankful for sunscreen and big hats. Last summer I was very silly and didn't realize how much hotter and stronger the sun's rays were down here. So, I didn't slather the sun screen or wear a hat, so I ended up leather faced and unnaturally dark. Plus, sunscreen smells so nice.

-I am thankful for my grandfather. I have one grandparent left and I haven't seen him in twelve years. We had a family reunion this weekend and he made the trip up from Florida!!! It was awesome.

Once I get my "blog" back, I have a ton of pictures to show you and I know how much everyone LOVES to see random pictures of my kids. So, don't give up on me, y'hear? Seriously, don't.

Boys

No, I'm not going video crazy... I swear, it's the last one for a while! Promise.

My good friend sent this to me and it is hilarious!!! So, for those of you who have boys, or grew up with boys, or simply appreciate boys, this here's for you.

Very Silly Love Songs

Scott and I had a little "disagreement" a few days ago. I was supremely irritated and wanted to be left alone. Instead, my husband has been sending me the most random versions of "Silly Love Songs" by Paul McCartney's Wings. Here is the grand finale. Breakdancing and all.

This is one of the reasons I love my husband! He knows I can't resist weird.

Thankful Thursday

Last week my "thankful" list went on entirely too long, so I'm keeping it short today.... you're welcome.

-I'm thankful for funny. My least favorite quality in others is a lack of a sense of humor. You don't have to be funny, but please laugh at my jokes. There's nothing more awkward than being sarcastic and someone thinking you're serious. Here's a funny snl link if you need a good laugh: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea=237294

-I'm thankful for a day off. Today we miraculously have no commitments, which means I don't have to shower.

-I'm thankful for sewing. I love to sew and while I don't have a lot of time right now, I've already made a list of projects for when I do. Loose linen roman shades, gum drop pillows (pictured above), a certain denim quilt pattern from my clever friend Jackie, and Amy Butler skirts are at the top of my list. I'm going to find one of those wooden busts and start making my own clothes... not like FLDS wear, but cute stuff, c'mon.

A Great Tip

OK, so if you know me well, you know I have no love for animals. Yes, I'm a hata' and that's ok. It's one of the things I don't have in common with Martha. That, and her love for crafts. Who has time for all that?

Anyway, in our last house, we had a problem with stray cats. We lived in an old neighborhood and there was a crazy old cat lady who lived across the street. She would feed the strays, thus keeping them close by and pooping in my garden. So, periodically, I would get a big ole' handful of poo when I cleaned out my garden bed. After a couple of years, my frustration built up to the point of spraying them with water, throwing rocks, and chasing them violently out of my yard. (Who's the crazy lady now?) I even trained my kids to "get rid of them".

Fortunately, we don't have a cat problem anymore. Unfortunately, we now have a rabbit problem. Rather than pooping in my garden, they're just eating all my plants. What do you do? Well, I'll tell you.

Little Grace's teacher gave her A Great Tip: Take some hair off your hairbrush and wrap it around the plants that rabbits typically like. Hostas, hydrangeas, etc... They will smell your scent and stay away! So brilliant and much more humane than what I was going to do.

Teachers don't get paid nearly enough.

I Need Therapy, Fish Therapy

Has anyone else heard of this? Apparently, it's an asian therapy where you soak in a warm pool of fish and they eat the dead skin off your body. I guess it makes your skin much more soft and youthful. It’s like a thousand happy endings - for your pores!

Who needs Clinique?

So weird.

Just Curious

After my last post, I'm feeling a bit curious again.

What's your all time favorite TV show and why?

For me it's a tie. LOST and the Golden Girls. You all already know my love for LOST, but here's a shout out to my girls Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia. I guess it's a combination of a couple of my favorite things, sarcasm and old people. One of the best episodes is when they crashed a high school reunion and Rose tried to pass herself off as a Chinese exchange student. That's some funny crap.

So, "Thank you for being a friend, traveling down the road and back again..."

Thankful Thursday

I never remember to do this on Thursday! We got back last night just in time for LOST and I was so excited, I guess I wasn't thinking much about being thankful. Oh wait....

- I am thankful for LOST. TV in general is just trashy, + I can never remember when anything is on. You know, except for LOST! Oh my gosh, it's soooo good!!! My good friend Julie got us hooked right before season 2 by lending us her season 1 DVD set and it's been good times ever since. I highly recommend renting or buying from the beginning if you're feeling a little "lost". You really do need to start from the beginning.

- I am thankful for the LDS cannery. For those of you who don't know what that is, the LDS cannery is a place you can go and can your own dry goods for short/long term food storage. Things like, rice, wheat, powdered milk, dried produce, etc are stored there for people to can or mylar bag themselves. While the canning process itself leaves much to be desired, this last time there was a silver lining! There were 3 gals from the local jail doing their community service through a rehabilitation program. (On a side note, being a cannery virgin, when I first arrived, I didn't know they were inmates and thought that's what we all had to wear. You know, the grey and white stripes. I thought it was a sanitary cover up or something. I was very relieved to find out only a hair net and gloves were required. Idiot!) Anyway, the smiles on these ladies faces brought tears to my eyes, because you could see the feeling of self worth and joy in their faces. One of our young men took the time to tell them about the atonement while stocking shelves and the gal I was working with told me she was going to choose the cannery to do her probationary community service. If only everyone could know what they were worth and how much Heavenly Father loves them. Hopefully these ladies could feel that and continue to turn their lives around for the better!

-I am thankful for weird ethnic food. I try not to eat too much snacky junk food (except for cookies, I love cookies) and I've convinced myself foreign food is always good for you. So, seaweed or marinated artichoke hearts hit the spot when I get a salt craving, glutinous rice dumplings or sweet bean cakes to satisfy my sweet tooth, etc. I like scary food too. My sister says I always pick the grossest thing at the table, for example: Yesterday, my mom made bibimbap, a traditional Korean rice dish with all kinds of vegetables and kimchies on top, + a cooked egg. I, of course, made my way straight to the fried fiddle head fern. I never turn my nose up to weird ethnic foods because 1. It hurts people's feelings ie. the hostess/cook, 2. It shows a lack of culinary adventure, and 3. Those "yucky" foods are delicious 9 times out of 10! Don't get me wrong, that 1 time out of 10 will haunt you forever, but it's worth a try! So the next time you turn down a big plate of squid or cow's tongue give me or Anthony Bourdain a call. CHALLENGE: if you're a real foodie, you'll try them first!;)

Mother's Day Questionnaire

Last week in church, the children were given questionnaires to fill out. These answers were later compiled to make fun Mother's Day booklets that they handed out today before sacrament. Here are my kids' answers:

What makes your mom really happy?

Oliver- When we do what we're told.

Spencer- I don't really know.

Grace- When we be good.

Sophia- When I give her hugs.

What does your mom like to do for fun?

Oliver- Watch design shows.

Spencer- Go shopping.

Grace- Cook cookies.

Sophia- She hugs me.

What does your mom like to get for Mother's Day?

Oliver- Expensive chocolates.

Spencer- Candy.

Grace- Love, kisses and hugs.

Sophia- A picture.

What does your mom tell you to do all the time?

Oliver- Get good grades.

Spencer- Take out the trash.

Grace- Do your chores.

Sophia- Clean up.

If your mom was a piece of candy, what kind of candy would she be? Why?

Oliver- Sour Patch Kids, because she's sour and she's sweet.

Spencer- Baby Ruth's, because they're awesome.

Grace- Licorice, because she loves licorice.

Sophia- A lollipop.

Treat Your Mother Right

Here's a video I found on Mindi's "Word to Your Mother"'s blog. It made me laugh out loud.

Happy early Mother's day, enjoy.

Thankful Thursday (on fri)

I'm thankful for so many things, but here's my top 3 this week:

1. I'm thankful for solid deck stain. I don't have a cedar deck. Mine is made out of just about the cheapest pine you can buy. It's just one big splinter. So, my only option really is solid deck stain, vs. semi-transparent. Wow, this is BORING.

2. I'm thankful for my friend Erika. I forgot about Thankful Thursday, and her post reminded me. I'm also thankful that we've kept in touch for so long and that she is such a great example. - I remember back in the day when she came back to Germany from a summer visit to the US, looking all tan and hot. We went to a church dance on a river boat and like every guy asked her to dance. I think some girl asked her if she was a model. Me?, I was up on deck with Sister "Whateverhernamewas" without a guy in sight.- Anyway, her blog is also A#1 and she's still tan and hot.

3. I'm thankful for brie cheese. I love me some brie and every once in a while I splurge and buy a slice. It's about 75% fat, but worth every gram! Dairy obsessed? Maybe.

5 Really Great Things about Renee

It seems I haven't recovered completely from my "loser pms" phase, so it's time for a pick me up. After that last post especially, I'm feeling a little down. So, here are 5 really great things about Renee:

1. I can imitate what people say at the same time they're saying it. It makes Scott mad but he's also in awe. It's a gift.

2. I do the "soulja boy" really well.

3. I'm painfully self-deprecating. That's a great thing because 9 times out of 10, it's funny.

4. I don't have to exercise to stay thin. (I said thin, not tone or in shape)

5. I'm Korean. Being Korean is pretty awesome and I'm so grateful to have that culture and history. I'm especially grateful for the food! "Rice, Rice Baby!....Kimche and Rice, Rice Baby- So Good, So Good."

Those are really great things! I'm a winner.